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The docs let us come home late this afternoon.  They covered Isaiah with antibiotics before we left so that if he spikes a fever in the next 24 hours, we won't have to return to the hospital.  If he spikes a fever after 4pm tomorrow, we will have to return to hospital.  Hopefully that won't be the case.

Life at the hospital

Isaiah has been keeping busy at the hospital.  He's been reading, building puzzles, playing Lego and doing some crafts.  His counts were better today so hopefully we'll be able to get out of here soon.  He needs to go 24 hours without a fever in order to be discharged.  His last fever was at 4am so things are looking good.  His temperature is slowly climbing at the moment but he doesn't yet have a fever.

Does it not seem as if I'm posting about the same thing over and over again?

I was feeling so optimistic this week that things were looking up for Isaiah.  I even thought that he might be able to return to school next week.  The inhaler that he was prescribed really seemed to be helping his cough.  Although his energy has remained somewhat low, I was feeling confident that we were on the upswing.

Last night, David and I had all the kids in bed (AND SLEEPING!) by 8pm and were so excited to cuddle up on the couch for a Friday night movie.  The tea was brewed, chocolate was taken from the treat cupboard and we had a great movie picked out.  As exhausted parents, who could ask for a more perfect date?!

Roughly thirty minutes into the movie, I ran upstairs to check all three kids (because I'm a paranoid mom and do this every night - don't judge me...I know all you moms out there probably check your kids when you wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night).  Anyway, Isaiah felt a little warm to me so I took his temperature.  Fever.  Again.

I came downstairs to break the bad news to Dave.  Movie was turned off and I packed my bag for the hospital.  Once we got to emergency, everything was very routine.  I was expecting that we'd be sent home after his dose of antibiotics, since this was the case for the past few weeks.  However, because he was neutropenic, we were admitted.

I had a good cry last night and feel much better today.  Unfortunately it was the oncologist-on-call who was the lucky recipient of my emotional eruption.  I feel like I've handled myself pretty well for Isaiah throughout his journey and have remained strong, but there are definitely those moments (away from Isaiah's ears and eyes) where I feel overwhelmed, especially now with him not having had a healthy week since November.  Despite the anguish I feel as a mother of a sick child, I do feel blessed with the life God has apportioned to me.  

God's purposes for our lives aren't always accomplished in the victories.  Sometimes His will must be accomplished through our tribulations.  Ultimately, God is not concerned about our momentary happiness but our eternal joy.  That joy can only be experienced in relationship with Him and I'm reminded of that during the difficulties of life.  There are never any guarantees in this life.  My hope remains in Jesus and it is toward eternity where I have fixed my eyes.

When will it end?!

Isaiah continues to be unwell.  We ended up at the hospital again last night and will go back again today.
I've looked back since we returned from Vietnam on December 14th and discovered that Isaiah has been sick every week.
It all started on December 17th.  Isaiah received regular chemo but also had a fever and had to return to hospital on the 18th.  After opening presents Christmas morning, he spiked a fever and returned to the hospital.  He was neutropenic and was admitted.  He stayed there for five days with Dave because we were all too sick to visit him.  On December 29th he was discharged but was back again on New Year's day with a fever.  We returned on the 2nd for more antibiotics.  Isaiah continued to be unwell and spiked another fever on the 7th of January.  More antibiotics on the 7th and 8th.  January 14th was regular chemo and Lumbar puncture.
Then the whole week of January 18th, Isaiah was vomiting and had diarrhea. (Everyone except for Dave was also sick).  January 27th was blood work day.
On February 3rd, he spiked another fever and was back to the hospital for more antibiotics on the 3rd and 4th.  February 11th, regular chemo.  Now February 14th and 15th for more antibiotics due to fever.

The total number of times at the hospital since Victoria has joined our family is 18.  We've had something every week.  I kept thinking three kids was so much more work but now I'm thinking that it's been a lot of other things.  If we were all well and didn't have to visit the hospital so much, three kids would be a breeze.

February 13th - I knew the fever was imminent

At the hospital late February 14th

Isaiah has made up words for all of the things he needs to get done at the hospital.  I don't know how he comes up with these words.  It's adorable and I had to document them somewhere:

npw - "the sucker"
npw (without vacuum) - "nose blob"
eye swab - "eye slob"
when they access his port - "getting a poke"
where he gets his LP - "the special room"
Dr. Schultz (his oncologist) - "the pickle doctor"
his VAD - "my button" or "my rock"

Adam also calls the nurses "teachers" which is adorable.

much of the same

We've been playing a lot of musical beds these past few weeks.  Below is a picture of all three of them ending up in our bed.  David is very thankful for the spare bed we have in Victoria's room.  The kids started calling it Daddy's bed for a while.  One night Dave was demoted to the bunk bed.  It was a rough night but it made me laugh seeing David all curled up in the bottom bunk.  A bunch of sick kids can make for interesting nights.  Fortunately, we are on night three of all kids being in their proper beds.  

It's continued to be a bit of a rough time for Isaiah.  We've made so many trips to Children's Hospital since we've been home from Vietnam.  We had to make another three visits this past week as Isaiah spiked yet another fever.  He's still out of school and we won't know until Wednesday (chemo day) if he'll be allowed to go back.  At this point, I'm thinking they will want him to stay home.  His cough seems to be as bad as it was in December.  Our activities have been restricted as we are trying our best to avoid crowded places.  Today we invited one of his friends to the swimming pool because he has nagged me for weeks to arrange a play date.  It was very crowded and he had a few coughing fits in the pool but enjoyed himself so much.  He needed something fun to lift his spirit.  He was so exhausted and asked to go to bed at 5pm.

He's been working on his Valentine's Day cards and really wants to go to his class party on Friday.  Hopefully he will be allowed to go.

The other two munchkins are doing well.  The lifeguard let Adam go down the water slide today even though he was a good two inches too short.  He was thrilled!
He started swimming lessons last week and is really enjoying it.  He has his two good girl friends in his class which makes it extra special.
Adam is starting to enjoy quieter activities like reading and colouring but is still a boy through and through.  He has so much energy and I feel bad for him (and for me) that we've been a bit house bound.  I'm very thankful for his swimming lessons.  He really needs physical activity to get his energy out.

Victoria took four steps on the weekend.  Her feet are so small though; size 3 or 3-6 months.  They really need to grow because they don't sell hard soled shoes until size 4.  She will have to walk outside in soft shoes I guess.  She is such a happy little girl.  Recently, she has been crawling up to me to give me kisses.  It's adorable.  She loves to empty my cupboards.  She found chips the other day and tried eating them.  Sneaky girl.